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EPIC FAIL of the Week 5/28/12

by on May 28, 2012

1. A Miami police officer fatally shot a naked man chewing the face of another man Saturday afternoon on a downtown causeway off-ramp, officials said. The Miami Herald reported that the naked man chewed off half the face of his victim, who is struggling for his life. The violence started at 2 p.m. on the MacArthur Causeway off-ramp, just south of the Herald’s offices, the newspaper said. Witnesses said that a woman saw two men fighting and flagged down a police officer, who came upon the naked man mauling the other man, the Herald reported.

The officer, who was not identified, ordered the naked man to back away, but when the man continued the assault, the officer shot him, the Herald said. Witnesses told the Herald the wounded attacker continued to eat his victim, so the officer continued firing. Witnesses said they heard at least a half-dozen shots, the Herald said. The naked man was later seen lying face down on the pedestrian walkway just below the newspaper’s two-story parking garage, the Herald said.

The naked man’s victim was transported to Jackson Memorial Hospital Ryder Trauma Center and had critical injuries, police told the Herald. Neither man was identified.

Read more: NBC News

(This has to be one of the weirdest stories I’ve ever heard in my life. Why would a man randomly maul another man? I truly believe that there are people who exist in this world that have demons inside of them and this guy is definitely one of them – J.K.)

2.  A member of Sunrise Christian Reformed Church in Lafayette said she was using the women’s restroom and noticed an air freshener had fallen off the door of her stall. When she picked it up, she noticed it was no ordinary air freshener. The back of the air freshener had come off and inside, was a video camera. “We immediately sent an officer there to initiate an investigation to collect that device,” said Tippecanoe County Sheriff Tracy Brown.

Yet, deputies said there was more than one device. After the woman discovered the camera in her stall, she checked the other three. All three stalls had air fresheners in them. One contained a camera, one did not. Two and a half weeks later on Thursday, deputies arrested the pastor. “The pastor of the church, Robert Lyzenga, was arrested and later posted a $5,000 surety bond,” said Brown. “He stands accused of one count of voyeurism as a class D Felony.”

Read more: WFLI

(A lot of pastors go into ministry nowadays either for the monetary benefits or for the power and recognition of being a holy man or for the sexual benefits of the job by lying to people that God wants you to have sex with them……it’s sad to see our world’s values deteriorate even in the one place where values are supposed to be the most important – J.K.)

Photo of student apparently flashing ends up in yearbook photo

3. While many students graduating high school and moving on to the world beyond want to leave a lasting impression on their alma maters, most don’t attempt a legacy by exposing their private parts during graduation. However, a student at Lake Norman High School’s 2011 graduation ceremony did just that, and the incident went largely unnoticed until the school issued yearbooks this year.

That’s when students and parents — who paid $100 for the book — noticed the girl on page 14 lifting her gown and exposing herself. The full photo depicts nine students smiling and laughing. Some are looking at the camera; others are looking away. The teen, whose identity has not been released by school district officials, stands in the front row with her gown lifted waist high.

One parent who noticed the photo after flipping through her child’s yearbook said she was outraged by the photo and called it pornography. She has two children at the school and purchased two yearbooks, she said. “When it was brought to my attention from my child, I was appalled,” she said. Another student posted to his Facebook page, “Leave it to Lake Norman to have a crotch shot in the yearbook.”

(In every high school you have that one person who everyone knows is going to be a whore, excuse my language lol but it’s the truth. The weird part about this story is that she was picked as the most likely to succeed by her classmates. There’s a difference between funny and stupid and you would think after graduating high school that she would know the difference, smh. – J.K.)


1. These cows thought they were on the cast of “The Hangover”

2. Be very grateful for your grandmother, no matter how crazy she might be… least she’s not a prostitute

3. And she wonders why she’s single?

4. At least these guys don’t have to go too far to find something fun to do after prom……

5. I hope this guy doesn’t let his girl see him screaming like this, lol.

From → Epic Fail

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