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Snooki is REALLY Pregnant!

by on February 29, 2012

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Earlier this month, we were told by the New York Post that Snooki could be pregnant. Snooki would later publicly deny that report, but now the New York Post is accusing Snooki of lying and stating that she really IS preggers (Jesus, take the wheel). Here are the deets:

“Jersey Shore” guidette Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is indeed pregnant and has plans to bankroll her mommy-to-be status into becoming “the next Kourtney Kardashian.”

We’re told Polizzi, 24, is carrying her first child by boyfriend Jionni LaValle, and is roughly three months along.

Sources said the reality star, who denied being preggers earlier this month, has already brokered a deal to announce the news on the cover of Us Weekly after she shopped the story to several celebrity magazines.

Makes a lot of sense, especially when you’re a B-list celeb like Snooki. A-list celebs like Nick and Mariah or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes or Bey and Jay don’t need to cash in on their bundles of joy but for people like Snooki, this is a perfect way to cash in. You can’t be on “Jersey Shore” forever, so make sure you get as much dough while you can because no one is going to hire you, especially if you behave the way Snooki does.

Unlike “The Situation” who has his own fitness empire that is using as supplementary income, Pauly D who is a DJ and Vinny who is a spokesperson for depression, none of the other “Jersey Shore” castmates including Snooki have been able to find a path to financial stability for when they eventually have to leave the show. Snooki can make this bad decision of unsafe sex into a good decision financially, as opportunistic as it sounds. MTV is still very worried though, about how this situation is going to play out on Snooki and JWoww’s new reality show spinoff and on “Jersey Shore”.

“MTV went into crisis mode after they found out,” said a source. “They’re trying to hide it because it would greatly affect the creative direction of the show. ” The untitled new show has just begun taping and focuses on the ladies’ relationship as friends and roommates — and whatever adventures come their way.

Star magazine reported a few weeks ago that Snooki was pregnant but had told “only her close friends and family.”

For MTV, it may be time to find more trash programming to make our generation more stupider (although I can’t lie, I’m entertained by MTV’s “Trash TV” concept), but for Snooki it’s time to mature and become a woman. Stop the little girl antics and step up because you’re now about to be responsible for another human in this world.

I’m pretty sure the spinoff show is now going to shift to Snooki and Jionni becoming parents and how her relationship w/ JWoww dwindles as she has to spend more time caring for her baby and how there is pressure on Snooki and Jionni to marry each other. MTV, I just wrote the plot for you, now PAY ME (Because who really believes Jersey Shore isn’t scripted).

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